The Tourettes


Chapter 1

The crypt was cold and dark, a silhouette of a man stumbled and fumbled trying to find his way.

He was quiet, he heard a noise to the left. Nervously, he backed away then his arm twitched and quick as a flash flicked out hitting the wall.

“Damn it, cotton buds! Turtle soup!” He shouted. Something wasn’t right, an aura of evil was here.

He fell to the floor feeling hopeless. Moonlight streamed into the crypt through a small crack in the entrance. A thin claw was illuminated as it came toward the man.

Gasping the man went into full roulette mode.

“Gang tickling bum sniffle cardio!” His arms flailed as the hand moved ever closer to his shoulder. He swiped at the hand to move it away.

The hand retreated.

He felt the crypt was empty now. That the vile creature had disappeared. Did he imagine it? His heart was racing, his lungs felt frozen.

Laughter.

The creature was laughing.

The man’s arms kept twitching of their own accord. He had full blown tourettes and he was near hysteria in this panic.

The creature approached once more.

“Who dare disturb my home?”

The man flinched, the words came from every direction.

“WHO DARE DISRURB MY HOME?” the creature screeched.

“Floundering Mouse shit!” Replied the man. Scared, he kept quiet. The monster seemed taken aback.

“Hmm floundering Mouse shit eh? Floundering yes, yes, yes perfect name for a mortal…would you like me to light the room?”

“Shit crackers…yes…banana boat!” He replied.

“You’re a bit weird arnt you boy?” The creature flicked his fingers and the room lit up. What the man saw nothing, then he looked sharply to his left and there was the creature.

He stood like a statue, a statue with elongated fingers and legs. But his top body was small and tubby, his head merged into his very tubby shoulder line. His eyes beamed red and his razor sharp teeth were smiling.

The man fainted.

———

He awoke to singing, a beautiful songstress singing a melody made from the very fabric of heaven.

“Be still child,
All is well in dream,
It won’t seem to be long,
Just a moment with me”

The voice repeatedly sung this. He looked around, the room was still lit. He was confused, what’s happening he thought.

“Cock womb ling fudge packing fungus!”

The man kept looking around, trying to figure out where the singing came from. He stood up and walked around the cave. There were etchings on walls, lots of counting strikes.

His arms struck out and he hit his head.

A name was wrote next to a locked door, it said ” plekio pille”. Strange he thought.

“Plekio pille…what the hell is this…”

Suddenly a great realisation hit him, he turned to the entrance! It was covered over, sealed shut. No light came through.

He cried in frustration.

“Drunken fishing, toadstools”

The singing drove him mad. It was making him insane.

He fell back and closed his eyes. His eyes opened. He was looking up at the ceiling…the creature was hanging from the ceiling staring into his soul whilst singing this melody.

The creature stopped singing.

“You want to know what plekio pille means?” He asked.

The man petrified, nodded his head. The creature grinned.

“It means “I kill people”!”

With a swift drop the creature dropped to the man.

“Any last words mortal?”

“Yes” said the man.

“Well, go on!” Impatiently the monster growled, his razor sharp teeth dripping in poison.

“What are you? Bum droplets and candy canes, biscuits”

“I am…I am a ….oh fuck it!”

With that the creature tore into the man’s chest, straight to his heart and devoured it whole. The creature contorted awkwardly and at strange angles.

His work was done, he ate the heart and devoured the man’s soul. He stood up and went to the marks on the wall and with a long finger scraped a line next to the others.

It was time to celebrate. This was the 250th line on the count.

Time to get ready for the outside.