Who is he?

What’s his point of being?

Where does he hide?

What is he?

When did he appear?

So since my nan passed I’ve been soul searching alot, she was very religious and so my train of thought was to try and figure out about god.  I know, I hear ya, impossible!

I guess mourning does strange things to your mind.

However, I firmly believe that there is no such thing as God. I’ll tell you why. My issue is that the collection of books called the Bible tell of two very different versions of God.

One is a hateful, vengeful god hellbent on making men repent and sacrifice. Many atrocities appear in the old testament, infanticide, genocide, murder, blood sacrifice etc.  Now how can that be the good god we have come to know? 

But wait…

Here comes the sequels in the New Testament.  Now that God has chilled out abut he’s decided to save us, so he’s sending his son.  Still, atrocities happen but it’s God’s will and Jesus will be saving us anyway.

I can’t get my head around the Bible, it’s full of hate and love.  No wonder everyone’s confused.

It reminds me of George Carlin whe. He said there’s a man in the sky who watches over us all, he knows what you do and every sin.  He’s given us 10 specific things for us to obey and this man has a set a place aside for us in case we don’t obey.  This place is full of fire and brimstone, demons and torture for now until the end of eternity…but he loves you!  And he wants your money, he can’t handle money.

So basically I’m not going after any religious organisation, I’ve been raised in organised religion and I don’t recommend it.

Many questions came to mind when I went soul searching.  How is there so much suffering in the world? Where are the miracles?  Where are the powers of God? Why are good people dying and evil people roaming free? Why is money ruling everything?

Does anyone have any answers to my questions? Who? What? Where? When?

This House

This house is not a house…it’s a memory bank. 

Each day I spend in my Nans house I get nostalgic and sorrowful, sad that soon it will be sold and the future memories end in my own personal history.

Maybe I’m being foolish, perhaps selfish but when I look back over my life the memories this house invokes is overwhelming.

The many meetings of Nan and Grandad, the Uncles and Aunties, the grand children, the great grandchildren, the nieces and nephews…the weddings, baptisms, Christmases and all manner of celebrations.  And the horrid funerals.

The dogs that had passed through the years of the house, my personal childhood dog was Rex who I used to sleep with at the top of the stairs and sometimes sneak into his kennel.

The endless summers and funny times, the sad times and the happy times.  

As the world turned, memories were burned into my mind.

My granda making me fry ups late at night, the old black and white films. The jokes we played.  I love the house and the safety it brought.

Now those days are ending as my Nan passed and now it will be sold. I am absolutely devastated but I can take solace in the fact that no one could ever sell my memories. 

And for that I am grateful.

RIP Nan and Granda

I will cherish the time together in that house.