Clumsy Daddy (A Bedtime Story)



Clumsy Daddy woke up with a start.

*BANG*

“Oooh my noggin!” He said clutching his head after banging it from the window sill over his bed.

*TWEET TWEET HEE HEE*

Laughed the birds.  Clumsy Daddy decided to roll out of bed.

*THUMP!*

He landed on the floor with a thump.  He groaned as the birds continued to TWEET and laugh.

“You birds will get it!!” He growled through gritted teeth.

Never mind he thought to himself, I’ll just go downstairs.  So he walked to the bedroom door and opened it very quickly however he did not know the door was slightly ajar.

*BANG!* 

He pulled the door so hard that he hit his nose with some force.

“OWHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” He screamed like a little girl.  The birds laughed again.  He put his hand up to rub his nose, he opened the door very sheepishly.

He went to head down the stairs but what he didn’t realise was that there was a roller skate at the top stair. He flipped over and started tumbling down the stairs.

*CRASH!*

*BANG*

“OOF! OUCH!”

*BANG*

*CRASH*

“OOH!”

*THUD!*

He was at the bottom of the stairs in a heap.  What a day he thought to himself.

He recovered after a good hour rest and decided to get up and make some breakfast. So he ran to the kitchen door and did the same thing as the bedroom door upstairs.

*SMACK!*

“Oh double whipped cream!” He cursed in such a sweet way.  He then opened the door gently and entered the kitchen.

He went to the fridge and opened it up to its glorious food heaven. He grabbed a pack of bacon and a tub of butter (He dropped the butter on the floor but didn’t notice!).

So he put the oven on three clicks and took out the grill.  Smacking his lips he was so hungry!  He placed four delicious slices of the fattest bacon upon the grill and shoved it in the oven.  He forgot to take his hand away before he closed the oven door.  Silly clumsy daddy!

*BANG*

“Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Clumsy Daddy was running around the kitchen waving his hand frantically and did the first thing logical to his clumsy brain.  He turned the tap on.

He let it run for 5 seconds then stuck his hand underneath.  What he didn’t realise is that he put the hot water on.

“Owwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!” He was feeling very annoyed and hurting! He ran screaming round the kitchen, past the back door which had a dog looking in.  The dog was shrugging it’s shoulders and saying “arff! Rats groing wron?!” Which as we all know is doggy language for whats going on.

Clumsy Daddy calmed down and decided to make himself a coffee, the kettle boiled and he was ready for it.  He poured the hot water in and took a swig.

He spat the coffee everywhere as it was so hot, so hot in fact he couldn’t feel his tongue! 

“Ahhhhhhhhhh ttoooooooooo hooooooot!”

He decided to make some toast, the bread was put in the toaster and clicked down.  He awaited for the delicious toast, he decided he would test his coffee again.  

“Oweeeeeeeee still to loo hot!” He spat the coffee everywhere once again!  The toast popped up ready to be buttered.  He then forgot about the bacon so he rushed to the oven when…

…there lying on the floor was the butter and clumsy daddy went flying around the kitchen in a figure 8.  He unlocked the back door accidently, he knocked over pots and pans and hit his head of a fruit bowl.  

He landed in a heap in the middle of the floor when the dog came bounding in! It started licking clumsy daddy all over and kept going “arff! Arff!”.

Clumsy Daddy groaned, time to go shopping…